My Wife’s Dog Is Trying To Kill Me

My Wife’s Dog Is Trying To Kill Me

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I recently accepted a challenge I read about online, to complete an entire photo project using only your phone. All photos had to be taken with and edited on my smart phone. I really liked this idea; I have used my iPhone for snapshots all the time, but never really for a photography project. I was up for the challenge and thought this was a great opportunity to document something that I have had a suspicion about for a while now: that my wife’s dog is trying to kill me.

My wife’s dog, Dixie, and I have never really gotten along. Since before we were married, when my wife brought her over to my then apartment for the first time, and she promptly urinated in the middle of my living room within minutes of entering, and I knew we were going to have issues. Ever since I have had a feeling that the dog despises me. When my wife is not around the dog glares at me, and gives me dirty looks as if to say “it’s only a matter of time before I get rid of you.” She sits atop our loft and looks down at me with her beady little eyes and I just know she is plotting to get rid of me. Well now I finally have proof.


This was my first real clue that something was up. I mean, this isn’t normal for a dog right?


I decided to keep an extra close eye on Dixie and its a good thing I did because late one night I snuck up on her and discovered her plans.


Caught this one right in time. I am not sure if I am horrified by this or just plain impressed that a dog could understand the complexities of a modern automobile braking system.


Came home one day from work to find this waiting for me….I decided not to open it.


This scared the crap out of me when I woke up to see it.


Thank God that blow dryer wasn’t plugged in.

Despite the evidence, my wife still won’t let me get rid of the dog. I better stay on my toes.